Pressure to Post

There she was, lying in the bed in her hospital room after giving birth to a beautiful baby who was in the NICU for the first few days of its life. During those first 2-3 days her husband wheeled her down to the NICU every 2 hours to nurse their little one. Adequate sleep was nowhere in sight. But they did not complain. They enjoyed their opportunities for rest and brief visitations.

Meanwhile, her phone, sometimes off, sometimes on silent, was full of texts congratulating her, and checking on her. But one text really bothered her. She was asked for a picture of her new bundle of joy. After giving the request some thought, she resolved with her husband that they would refrain from sharing pictures of their baby with anyone unrelated to them so that they could take in what had just occurred and continue to look out for each other until their baby could come to the room with them.

What Happened?

While receiving an epidural a nerve was hit that caused her to feel a shocking sensation in her left knee. Including the epidural altogether the delivery was complete within 45 minutes because it happened via cesarean section. After receiving stitches to her abdomen, she lay in a room until she regained feeling and movement in her legs/feet and could not leave until she could move them. Then, she was wheeled into her room where she waited until she was permitted to go see her little one for the second time that day.

What Did Not Happened?

She was NOT interested in sharing a picture after having gone through all of that. So she did not respond. It was in that moment of seeing a text requesting a picture, which was not a bad request, she realized how society has shaped our behavior. We want to see the baby while the head’s still wet. (Sounds gross right?) But seriously, we have grown so accustomed to seeing newborns immediately after birth, that we sometimes don’t give new parents a chance to take in the moment and recover from their work. A request for a picture was the last thing she wanted to read. Yet she understood that the days when people had to wait to see pictures were OVER. Or were they???…

What Is Happening?

One contributing factor that may incite the eagerness of friends, families, and others to see newborn pictures I believe stems from those who are comfortable and perhaps eager to share the wonderful miracle of their child’s birth. They tend to document and share their journey in real time. Then there are others who find that moment more private and intimate and don't desire to share so quickly. Perhaps the latter is not as common, so there’s an unintended “pressure to post” from those on the outside. Not just on social media, but via text, video chat, home invitations, and so on.

What Was Her Resolve?

Despite this inadvertent pressure, she decided it would be best to set up boundaries and wait a week before they sent out any pictures to friends and loved ones. In a moment of reflection, she realized why people were so anxious to see her child. She knew everyone was excited for her and was looking forward to sharing the joy of motherhood with her family. Yet, she was perplexed by their desires because of the ongoing physical challenges they were enduring. Had anyone considered that? Were they even aware? (No) Were any of the other mothers/fathers thinking of what she was possibly going through?

After her family had returned home from the hospital and a week had passed she and her husband agreed that it was time to share images with those who had not received any. She thanked them for their patience and was happy to see their sweet responses. However, the ultimate point she arrived at was this: Though it seems uncommon there are still moments we experience in life that don’t have to be shared to meet the cravings of the masses. That doesn’t mean you love people any less. It just means if you decide to wait or not share at all it’s okay. Don’t take on the pressure to post, Tweet, divulge, expose, explain, chronicle, update, etc. If you so choose, take advantage of those sweet moments outside of the world’s view. Remember to - Pause, Ponder, and Pray.

Selah